Approximately 3,000 Earth years ago
Location: Unknown, Spirit Realm
I have completely lost track of time; I truly do not know how long I’ve been imprisoned here. Hope feels far away; and yet Joan’s words continue to echo in my mind between my despair-filled thoughts: “There is always hope.”
Saros continues to be in my awareness. Although, I do not know him physically, I know him. I know his energy, and I feel the peace that he pushes to me constantly. I suppose this feels hopeful, I think as I feel the warmth of his peaceful presence wash over me. I sense him smile as I breathe in his calming energy, although I know intuitively that he is asleep. I have come to rely on the consistency of his presence, and, in this moment, I am drawing on this to remember this notion of hope.
I breathe in deeply as I focus intently on recalling memories of Earth. The beautiful, crystal lake where I would soak my bare feet throughout the day. The grassy meadow below my feet. The fragrance of the wildflowers that sprinkled my spiritual birthplace. I imagine myself lying on my back, gazing up at the blue sky and the fluffy clouds for hours on end, sun kissing my cheeks.
I continue to breathe as I feel energy flowing from my mind’s eye, where these images are originating, to my heart space and I begin to cry as I feel Gaia filling my body up with energy. How are you reaching me, dear Gaia? I ask, deep emotion coloring my inquiry.
Her response is faint and difficult to hear, so I focus my mind, willing the dark thoughts to subside so that I may hear her more clearly. I am never far from you, Child, she replies gently and I feel her wind on my skin. I burst into tears at the physical reminder of home. You are always home, Child. You have access to it at all times. Breathe. Believe. You are home.
I feel Saros stir on the other side of my prison wall. He has awoken due to the shift in my energy. Avania, my dear… are you okay?
Yes! Yes, I’m okay, dearest. Please, witness me in this moment…, I ask instinctively and I feel him settle into the moment and connect with my experience. Tears begin to fill his eyes as he senses my connection to Gaia. It is the first time since I found myself in this place that I have found peace outside of him, and I can sense his relief and gratitude.
I bring my attention back to Gaia, to Earth, willing the familiar energy to flow into and throughout my body. It is so peaceful, this reminder of home. I continue to breathe as I feel the energy begin to shift to something more… powerful. In my mind’s eye, Gaia shows me the thunderstorm that she summoned the day of my abduction. Ominous. Commanding.
Suddenly, my legs begin to tingle with sensation. I pay close attention; this is a message. This moment is not simply for the sake of remembrance, some peaceful energetic download. No. This moment is threatening destruction. And as Gaia continues to pour energy into me, I feel more and more empowered. Emboldened.
I feel Saros’s energy shift from peaceful to concerned quickly. My dear… how are you feeling? Are you—
I’ve never been better, I reply breathlessly, feeling Gaia’s power pulsate throughout my entire body now. I look down at my hands and observe tiny sparks lighting up my fingertips. It’s the first time I have been able to see anything clearly since I was taken. I move my hands together slowly and am delighted to see the sparks begin to take shape, like tiny lightning rods, energy transferring between my fingers. The energy builds and builds and eventually I am holding what appears to be a tiny storm between my hands, and I laugh aloud, a bit maniacally. With each passing moment, I feel more and more powerful, and I note the shift in the energy around me as well. I hadn't even noticed the fully armed guards that had entered the room, completely confused and, honestly, frightened.
I shift my attention to my oppressors and my surroundings. The room around my prison has been swept up in a violent windstorm, and the guards are using all of their energy to remain on their two feet. Electricity crackles around them and the lights flicker wildly until the light bulbs eventually burst, unable to hold the energy of the moment. They cannot see me, because I’m still in my prison; and yet I know that all I have to do is flick my wrist and the enclosure would be destroyed, and I would have access to them.
I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all for what they have done to me, I threaten as I continue to feel the seemingly unending supply of energy course throughout my veins, fueling my rage.
Chaos ensues around me. I hear one of the men in charge yelling some inaudible order at Saros, and he is yelling back. In that moment, I feel his calming presence cut through the chaos of my fury, and for a moment, I experience some dissonance.
Wait… Saros… he is… he is here… I cannot control this destruction… he would most certainly fall if I…
My Child, I hear Gaia’s soothing voice call to me in my deliberation, I understand. I understand your anger, your rage. It is more than justified, Child. And yet… is this who you are? You are powerful, my love. And, you must remember in these moments that are primed for destruction… you must remember who you are. So… who are you?
Initially, I am resistant to her words, this message. After several moments, I find my way back to my meadow, allowing myself to remember exactly who I am. My wings…, I reply to Gaia, I see my angel wings. I am an angel for Source. I am one with Source.
Yes, my love, Gaia affirms me as the chaos of the storm continues to swirl around me. This is who you are. You are so powerful, Child. And you also have a responsibility to be thoughtful with that power. You are an agent of Source.
I continue to breathe deeply, feeling peace returning to my being as the winds both inside of and outside of my enclosure begin to subside. It’s not fair! I call out as tears sting my eyes and the winds pick up once more, They don’t deserve to go on! Look what they have done to me! Look what they’ve done… They are making me lose my mind… lose myself… I can’t go on…
They have no power over you, Child. At this point, Gaia’s voice is strong and soothing at the same time. Look at the power you wield. You can take them all out. And yet, you must ask yourself: is this who I am? You must always come back to that question.
The energy of the storm becomes more and more difficult to maintain as the question swirls around in my mind. Suddenly, I hear Saros’s voice, Dearest, I am here. I am here, Avania. I’m with you…
I don’t sense that he is trying to stop me, which confuses me, and I reach out to Gaia for understanding.
Child, your intuition is accurate. You don’t have to question yourself…
He… he’s ready to die for me? To die for this display? For my escape? I ask incredulously, observing his thoughts and emotions. I expect to sense fear from him, but all that is present is the overwhelming sense of peace and love that he is actively pushing to me.
That’s right, Child. You have a choice to make in this moment. I sense Gaia smile, already signaling what she knows to be true. She knows how I will choose.
I spend a few more moments channeling the powerful energy before allowing it to slowly return to Gaia. I feel a deep sense of loss as I drop to my knees and begin sobbing into my hands as the energy continues to leave me. The energy around me begins to normalize, and I sense commotion from the guards and the superiors. Their conversations are indiscernible; everyone appears to be talking over one another. Emotions range from anger to fear to deep expectancy as if anticipating the next episode.
I turn my attention from them back to myself and look down at my hands which are once again invisible against the pitch black. I drop to my knees and begin weeping, the thought crossing my mind incessantly that I just gave up my chance at escape.
No, I hear Saros’s voice enter my awareness. He is still arguing with the others outside of my enclosure and yet he is also speaking to me telepathically at the same time. This wasn’t your time to escape—not like this. I don’t know why nor do I know how we will make it out, but I know that to be true. I know because Source is telling me right now that this moment was powerful, but it’s not time for your escape. Be still, my dear Avania. There is always hope.
The peace and knowing in his voice are enough to calm my energy as I lie down in the fetal position before I enter a deep, dreamless sleep, the commotion of my surroundings still swirling around me.
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